"Howdy, Partner" (Meeting #6)

Like a comet pulled from orbit,

As it passes a sun.

Like a stream that meets a boulder,

Halfway through the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you,

I have been changed for good.

-From the Broadway musical, Wicked

It is a peculiar feeling, to say goodbye. Even after almost 20 years of bidding farewell to those whose paths have crossed mine, it never seems to become easier for me, especially when I realize that, more than likely, I will never encounter the person again. Coming to accept that this is reality, that this is the inevitable course of life, is rather difficult; it is natural, yet unnerving. Perhaps I am too sentimental; I will admit that. Although I have only known Yi-Ray for about two and a half months, it seems like we have known one another for an extended amount of time, being able to discuss personal interests, trials and tribulations, and topics pertaining to race and culture. Even if saying goodbye was simple, it was not any easier; the farewell still tugged upon the strings of my heart, playing a lamenting tune. Optimists say we will meet again. I wish I could believe that, but I have learned better. This was it. This was goodbye.

            Even in our last meeting, however, silence refused to echo the room; she always had much to share. We discussed the future--plans before us, uncertainties surrounding us. Excitedly, Yi-Ray talked about how she would be leaving the country soon, returning with her family to Korea for several months. Consequently, I asked when she would be returning to the Fort, but her smile instantly disappeared; her face grew grim. Her chatter stilled as she explained that they would be moving to another state once they returned from Korea; however, when I asked which state would become her new home in America, she could not reply. All she knew in certainty was that it could be anywhere but here--they were never to return to the Fort. As I absorbed this shocking news, I glanced at her impassive face. For a moment, I sensed apprehension in her eyes. I was rendered powerless; there was nothing I could do to reassure her, for I did not know what the future would hold either, though, I like to believe it will be good.

            Enlightenment struck; I realized my worries were trivial in comparison to hers. As I stress over exams, papers, and class projects, she is left to wonder where her next American home will be, what remains in the future between her and her husband, and what type of life her daughter will have. How can I possibly complain about my life when Yi-Ray marches forward with a quiet confidence and inner strength that leaves me in awe? There is no comparison.

            When we bid farewell for the final time, she gave me a hug, her motherly instincts encompassing me. It reminded me of my own mother; it made me sad. Yi-Ray continued to thank me for all that I have done, but I could not fathom what I did to deserve such gratitude; I helped her with English as much as I could, and simply had conversations with her. It was not work for me; truthfully, I actually enjoyed the opportunity. I told her she needn't thank me, but she shook her head reverently; she said she must. Quizzically, I asked why. A smile slowly spread across her face, as she told me that she was thankful for having me as a friend.

            I will remember Yi-Ray, my conversation partner, my new friend. In truth, however, it is I who should be thankful--grateful for how she has helped me, influenced me, and changed me. It is I who am left to admire her, thank her, and remember her always.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you,

I have been changed for good.