"Howdy, Partner" (Meeting #5)

A light drizzle from the sky, a near-empty campus...and there I was, sitting at a deserted Union Grounds, waiting for Yi-Ray to arrive. The minutes passed as I kept glancing at my watch. Usually, she was never late, and I began to worry a bit, hoping that she was not trapped in traffic, or worse. Thankfully, my worries were silenced and my heart sighed with relief when Yi-Ray finally scurried through the doors, a bit out of breath. She apologized profusely for being late, but I was simply glad that she was all right and here, ready for our next conversation.

Once Yi-Ray caught her breath and relaxed, I inquired how her family trip went, which was scheduled during the previous week, only to receive a heavy sigh.

“We couldn’t go,” she muttered, “because of the storm.”

I nodded sympathetically as I knew how much she and her family were looking forward to a trip together. Originally, they had planned to travel for the week to New Orleans, but due to the thunderstorms and awful weather conditions, they found themselves trapped in the confinement of their home for most of the week. Instead, Yi-Ray explained how they went to Dallas for a day (when the weather conditions improved, of course) to visit the Korean market. She smiled sheepishly and I could not help but smile back; an Asian market to an Asian can be a mini heaven, especially in the continental U.S. where the Asian populations are, well…not large. Yi-Ray’s face continued to brighten as she told me about another place that they visited in Dallas, a place full of flowers and plant-life, “the most beautiful place in Texas.” I was hoping that she would remember the name of that place, but after struggling with her memory for a good five minutes or so, she could not seem to recall the specific name of this wondrous place. Although I would have no idea where to begin in Dallas, I hope to one-day visit the beautiful garden-like haven that had Yi-Ray overwhelmed with awe and excitement.

After discussing her mini-Dallas adventure, she began nervously shifting in her chair. While sipping on my orange juice, I waited patiently for Yi-Ray to express what was bothering her. After a few moments of relatively awkward silence, she blurted out the truth of her worries.

“I quit.”

I nodded solemnly as I listened to her vent her agitations and frustrations regarding the circumstances that resulted in her quitting the English program. To respect Yi-Ray’s privacy, I will not divulge the specific details of what happened with the English program, only that the situation occurred without warning; her hands were tied, leaving her no choice but to leave the program. Although I have only heard one side of the story, I could not help but feel saddened for Yi-Ray. Her path to learn English through the program was cut short, only to leave her with embarrassment, confusion, and frustration. Why the situation occurred, and why it happened to her, I might never fully understand or know. All I can do for now is be there- be supportive.

After her wave of emotions and thoughts passed, we sat in silence for a moment. For once, I really did not quite know how to respond or what to say. Thankfully, this determined woman before me still had a few choice words she wished to share.

“I plan to continue to study English,” she stated, “and I will still take the English exam.”

The English exam (TOEFL) will be held during the first week of May, and Yi-Ray is determined to continue her English studies – now on her own – and take the test in May, but more importantly, she plans to pass. Her determination to succeed and to prove to others that she is an equal, that she is adequate, is deserving of respect.

Although she and I have almost completed all of our required meetings, I told Yi-Ray that we could meet even more if she needed help in preparing for her exam. A huge smile spread across her face, and at that moment, I promised to help; it is a promise I intend to keep.

"Howdy, Partner" (Meeting #4)

            As I took my seat across from Yi-Ray, I noticed there was a spark in her eye; her face was brimming with excitement. I could only imagine with anticipation what she was bursting to talk about today. Her smile was wide as she said with such pride, "Today, I would like to share with you my culture." As someone who also admires the Korean culture, I was ecstatic to have the opportunity to hear from a Korean citizen first-hand about his or her customs and holidays. Even more so, I was grateful Yi-Ray was willing to open up and share her experiences and personal culture, one she misses so much. 

            With pen and paper in hand, I was ready to learn about the Korean holidays, customs, traditions, and even a bit about their delicious food. However, our conversation began on a much different note. Weddings. That is what Yi-Ray wished to discuss first. She began by asking me what dress I will be getting for my wedding. A bit taken aback by her question, embarrassed, I explained that I am extremely a ways away from marriage, along with the minor detail involving the lack of a boyfriend. She laughed as she began to understand my "single" situation, and thus continued by discussing traditional Korean weddings, as well as her own.

            In terms of the traditional Korean weddings, I learned that only a few people today still have their wedding fully traditional; most couples have Western-styled weddings, due to European and American influence. However, the details and descriptions of the traditional Korean wedding were intriguing; the dress attire used, such as the colorful hanboks for the women, and the rounded, leather "ship" shoes the men wear, are all so unique, very different from weddings that I am normally accustomed to. One thing that I found most interesting is that in the traditional Korean wedding, the color red is highly incorporated, especially on the bride, as red is a symbol of good health and fertility (they want babies!). In America, on the other hand, red on the actual bride would almost be considered scandalous. Additionally, Yi-Ray informed me that in traditional Korean custom, the bride and groom spend their first night as a married couple at the bride's family's home. No immediate honeymoon for them! Hence, I found the dichotomy between traditional Korean culture and American culture today to be fascinating.

            Hesitantly, I asked Yi-Ray what type of wedding she had, not wanting to overstep boundaries. She simply smiled; she reminisced about her wedding, a four-year-old child and some years ago. Although she had opted for a Christian wedding, there were yet some differences between Korean and American "Western" weddings. For one, I learned that in Korea, women almost never purchase a wedding dress. Rather, they rent one. In America, renting a wedding dress would seem so rare, as there are advertisements, media, and television shows dedicated to finding and buying the "right" dress. Additionally, Yi-Ray informed me that most Koreans marry in their thirties, as they believe one should be financially secure first. I explained to her variations in ages in America for marriage, as well as how it depends upon region, as those in the South tend to marry younger compared to those in other parts of the country. She seemed in awe of how young some Americans are when they make this decision.

            In relation to our conversation of marriage and wedding traditions, I also awkwardly explained what the terms "cougar" and "gold-digger" means. It was a hilarious conversation, although explaining these terms earned me some odd looks from innocent bystanders passing by Union Grounds. I could have cared less; Yi-Ray could barely contain her laughter as I used fine examples such as Hugh Hefner and the residents of the Playboy Mansion. 

            Our conversation continued, including the topics of Korean holidays, military duty, and food. Gaining insight into another culture is...priceless. In these moments- moments of learning and enlightenment - I am reminded to be open. Sometimes, to learn much, it is that simple.