A
light drizzle from the sky, a near-empty campus...and there I was, sitting at a
deserted Union Grounds, waiting for Yi-Ray to arrive. The minutes passed as I
kept glancing at my watch. Usually, she was never late, and I began to worry a
bit, hoping that she was not trapped in traffic, or worse. Thankfully, my
worries were silenced and my heart sighed with relief when Yi-Ray finally
scurried through the doors, a bit out of breath. She apologized profusely for
being late, but I was simply glad that she was all right and here, ready for
our next conversation.
Once
Yi-Ray caught her breath and relaxed, I inquired how her family trip went,
which was scheduled during the previous week, only to receive a heavy sigh.
“We
couldn’t go,” she muttered, “because of the storm.”
I
nodded sympathetically as I knew how much she and her family were looking
forward to a trip together. Originally, they had planned to travel for the week
to New Orleans, but due to the thunderstorms and awful weather conditions, they
found themselves trapped in the confinement of their home for most of the week.
Instead, Yi-Ray explained how they went to Dallas for a day (when the weather
conditions improved, of course) to visit the Korean market. She smiled
sheepishly and I could not help but smile back; an Asian market to an Asian can
be a mini heaven, especially in the continental U.S. where the Asian
populations are, well…not large. Yi-Ray’s face continued to brighten as
she told me about another place that they visited in Dallas, a place full of
flowers and plant-life, “the most beautiful place in Texas.” I was hoping that
she would remember the name of that place, but after struggling with her memory
for a good five minutes or so, she could not seem to recall the specific name
of this wondrous place. Although I would have no idea where to begin in Dallas,
I hope to one-day visit the beautiful garden-like haven that had Yi-Ray
overwhelmed with awe and excitement.
After
discussing her mini-Dallas adventure, she began nervously shifting in her
chair. While sipping on my orange juice, I waited patiently for Yi-Ray to
express what was bothering her. After a few moments of relatively awkward
silence, she blurted out the truth of her worries.
“I
quit.”
I
nodded solemnly as I listened to her vent her agitations and frustrations
regarding the circumstances that resulted in her quitting the English program.
To respect Yi-Ray’s privacy, I will not divulge the specific details of what
happened with the English program, only that the situation occurred without
warning; her hands were tied, leaving her no choice but to leave the program.
Although I have only heard one side of the story, I could not help but feel saddened
for Yi-Ray. Her path to learn English through the program was cut short, only
to leave her with embarrassment, confusion, and frustration. Why the situation
occurred, and why it happened to her, I might never fully understand or know.
All I can do for now is be there- be supportive.
After
her wave of emotions and thoughts passed, we sat in silence for a moment. For
once, I really did not quite know how to respond or what to say. Thankfully,
this determined woman before me still had a few choice words she wished to
share.
“I
plan to continue to study English,” she stated, “and I will still take the
English exam.”
The
English exam (TOEFL) will be held during the first week of May, and Yi-Ray is
determined to continue her English studies – now on her own – and take the test
in May, but more importantly, she plans to pass. Her determination to succeed
and to prove to others that she is an equal, that she is adequate, is deserving
of respect.
Although
she and I have almost completed all of our required meetings, I told Yi-Ray
that we could meet even more if she needed help in preparing for her exam. A
huge smile spread across her face, and at that moment, I promised to help; it
is a promise I intend to keep.
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