"Howdy, Partner" (Meeting #3)

           On a dreary Monday, my day instantly brightened as I approached Yi-Ray at a table in front of our usual meeting place.  She smiled warmly as she stood to greet me; we exchanged slight bows out of habit of our Asian upbringing. When I meet with Yi-Ray, I am reminded of my cultural background, something that can be so easily forgotten in the Texas culture, and especially in TCU's community. I can only imagine how she must feel being a foreigner. However, I would soon gain a deeper understanding of her perspective, her emotions...

            As we sat back down, Yi-Ray motioned towards a smoothie drink on the table. "For you," she said with eyes wide, filled with hope that I would accept this sweet gesture of her appreciation for meeting with her. A bit stunned at her thoughtfulness, I gratefully accepted her token of friendship, and we began our conversation of the week. It began like normal; we discussed our week and the fun occurrences of the weekend. She sighed as she expressed how her life is such a routine, even though I find her life as a student, mother, and wife fascinating. Perhaps, though, that is why she takes genuine interest in what I do as she finds my experiences intriguing (although my life is no more exciting than a rock's). At times, we express "the grass is greener on the other side." In time, however, I learn this is not always so.

            Our conversation continued as we discussed a book that she is reading called, "Cinderella Man". Since I have never read the book or seen the movie, I let her explain the story to me; Yi-Ray seemed excited, yet nervous, at the opportunity to be the storyteller. I also answered questions she had about the English phrases in the book. One phrase we discussed was what it means when someone says, "you cannot work on an empty stomach." I did my best to give clear explanations and offer examples; in that moment, I was thankful I was not working on an "empty stomach" either. Once again, I was reminded at how easy it is to take our language for granted.

            Then as our conversation over the "Cinderella Man" ended, we began to discuss religion as Yi-Ray noticed the cross I wore upon my neck. After I admitted that I am a Christian, she gladly explained that she was a Christian too. She said that she was "innately Christian." This greatly surprised me as I had assumed most Asian nations (generally, most of the world), were not Christian. However, Yi-Ray explained the religion in South Korea, where about half of the nation is Christian; her parents are Christian, and she was born as a Christian. North Korea, on the other hand, bans Christianity; she continued to explain the religious situation of Korea, and I found myself in awe of her knowledge, but most importantly, of her faith.

            Before departing, I asked Yi-Ray if she had anything on her mind. She hesitated for a moment, biting her bottom lip. "Well..." she began, "it's just hard sometimes."

            Quizzically I gazed at her, unsure of what she meant. Then she continued. Her eyes darkened and her brow furrowed as she expressed some of the trials and hardships she has faced being a foreigner. She explained how people treat her as being incompetent. "They treat me as if I'm stupid," she said. "But...I don't think I am." Yi-Ray let out a sigh as she clasped her hands on the table. For a moment, I was speechless and my heart cried silently for her. I could sense her frustrations from the language barrier she faces, but even more than that, the frustrations stemming from people's racism and mistreatment. Looking at her in the eyes, I reassured her. It was all I could do. I shared my own personal experiences of being treated wrongly and being treated as being "stupid" because people had assumed that I was foreign too. All I could do was offer her support, and explain that some people are simply ignorant. As we prepared to end our conversation, I told her not to feel discouraged and that she is someone I admire, someone I respect. Yi-Ray took my hand, gave it a squeeze, and smiled.